so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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