That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
