The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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