so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
