i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
What drink are we having for lunch?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
