It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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