Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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