I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
