I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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