You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
