Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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