it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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