So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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