so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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