Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
