At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
