i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
