Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
