you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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