that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
