I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
