Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
