After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
