Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
