She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
When are your genitals available?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize