I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
