Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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