If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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