don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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