the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
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