you turned your livingroom into a bong?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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