hell yes lets make some ravioli
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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