Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
4 words: hood of his car
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just want nice things and good sex
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
