I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
