I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
