I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
