brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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