Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
me + whiskey = a bad person
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
