Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
