he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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