Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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