I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
