everyone is single if you try hard enough
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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