i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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