sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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