I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize