dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
