got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
