the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
