good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
