i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
