alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
