How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
