let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
