You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If its not for food we ain't going out.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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