Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
