I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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