Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
