so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
