Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
