just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
