I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize