I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
