Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my shit smells like andre
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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