Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she pinky promised me she was 18
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
